Miyoko.
Know the name? If you’re vegan, vegetarian or just want to learn how to make stuff you’re used to out of stuff you’re not used to it being made of, get to know her. Ms. Schinner is the author of The Homemade Vegan Pantry: The Art of Making Your Own Staples and a few other cookbooks. I’m currently balls deep in this one.
All up in this.
This vegan Unturkey recipe isn’t from the Vegan Pantry. I found her on Youtube teaching the masses about the Unturkey. Couldn’t find the recipe anywhere and so I proceeded to watch and pause the over twenty minute video so that I can take down the ingredients and instructions. This is how much I love you.
Feel free to check it out for yourself – it helps to see how she handles the fake, crispy skin for yourself. Yeah, man. You read that correctly. It is EVERYTHING.
Quick note – I hate using alternative terms for V dupes of foods like Wheat Meat or Chik*n. You’re purposely trying to copy a meat or dairy product. Labels aren’t the place for denial and these aren’t fucking curse words. I use V instead of vegan and vegetarian out of sheer laziness. Out of respect for Miyoko, since it’s her recipe and her world, I refer to the turkey as Unturkey. After having made that spice mix and turned it into a gravy, I’ll follow her to the ends of the earth.
The spice mix alone is worth a try even if you’re not looking to make an Unturkey. I’ve used it as a boullion for soup and holy mother of flavor. It made gravy so good, omnivores were giving me props. It’s so good I’m going home to make it tonight. God damn… Fuck yeah…
So the Unturkey has a shitload of steps and ingredients. Don’t let it throw you. What I did was make the spice mix a few days before I made the actual Unturkey (made that guy well before I needed it, too) and then defrosted it the day before Thanksgiving, leaving me with stuffing, gravy and basting liquid to make day of. Way easier doing it on separate days and in steps. Also, you end up with extra spice mix. It is the most umami-filled flavor bomb I’ve come across in my entire V existence. REJOICE!
One other thing to note. I actually ended up cutting the Unturkey in half because it makes a house-sized beast. The half I ended up using was so big I still have leftovers of that. Unless you’re making this for an international V convention, I’d recommend you do the same. What I also did, though, was make everything else as though I was making the full Unturkey, so there was a ton of stuffing and gravy. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.
Deep breath. Ok….. GO!
UnTurkey by Miyoko Schinner
Spice Mix
2 cups nutritional yeast
2 T sea salt
1 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon tumeric
2 teaspoons black pepper
2 teaspoons marjoram
2 teaspoons tarragon
2 teaspoons paprika
2 teaspoons rosemary
4 teaspoons sage
4 teaspoons celery seeds
4 teaspoons garlic powder
4 teaspoons onion powder
Mix in all together in a blender.
Unturkey
3 cups water
3 T soy sauce
1/4 cup garbanzo flour
1/4 cup seasoning mixture
Stir well, then add
4 cups vital wheat gluten and mix well. Form the seitan into a large oval and place on cookie sheet, bake for half an hour at 350 to set so it doesn’t expand way too much when boiling and become spongy.
Broth
Pot of water
1/2 cup of seasoning mix
1/3 cup soy sauce
Remove, allow to deflate a bit as it will and then simmer in broth for an hour. Taste the broth after it’s simmered for a bit to see if it needs more seasoning mix. Remove and set aside to cool. Save the broth – freeze it if you’re not making the rest today, but save this magic juice. You’ll need it for the rest of the steps.
Once the seitan is completely cool, slice a bit of the fat side and butterfly it. Then slice the Unturkey in half (not all the way) and put the Unturkey back into the broth while the skin is being made. NOTE/REMINDER: I ended up cutting it in half and freezing them both until I needed it. If you’re making the Unturkey for the same day, just freeze the other half for when you’re making it again and continue on with your normal-sized portion.
Stuffing
Good amount of oil in a pan
1 large onion, diced
3-4 carrots, diced
3-4 stalks celery, diced
pinch of sea salt
Sautee for about 3 minutes – it doesn’t have to get tender as it will cook inside the Unturkey.
1 pan Breadcrumbs (cube day old bread and dry out in the oven for 15 minutes at 350). Mix vegetables with breadcrumbs. Add
1 T sage
1 T thyme
1 T rosemary
1 teaspoon celery salt
Mix very well to allow the oil to coat and soak into the breadcrumbs so that the stuffing won’t end up soggy. Once properly mixed, use 3 cups of the broth from the finished seitan for the stuffing. Mix well. Keep adding broth until the breadcrumbs are moist if needed.
Basting Liquid
1/4 cup seasoning mix
1/2 cup white wine
1/2 cup canola oil
Unturkey skin
2 Yuba (soy milk skin) fresh/frozen needs to be reconstituted in water. Fresh doesn’t.
Put the wrung out yuba sheets into a bowl with the leftover broth.
Take the skin and put it down into the baking dish, allow it to hang over the sides. Take the base of the seitan (butterflied piece) and put it into the pan. Add most of the stuffing on top of the base and mold into a tall mountain and place the now butterflied big piece of seitan on top of the mountain. Wrap the seitan in the overhanging yuba, take the second piece that has been soaking and cover the entire Unturkey, folding undernearth. For extra thick skin, you can add another sheet of yuba. Add veggies to the side of the tukey, baste Unturkey and veggies.
Bake for 30-45 minutes. If the seitan has been frozen, it’ll take a day to thaw in the fridge and an hour to cook in the oven.
Gravy
1/4 cup Oil
2-3 T flour
make a 
Add about 3-4 cups of hot stock from the cooked seitan and whisk. Add a splash of white wine. Splash of soy sauce for color. Add 1 T of seasoning mix. Taste.
That there is my blood, sweat, whining, finger-crossing and tears. I’m sure the vegetables would have looked slightly less sad had I not thrown it into a 450 degree oven out of necessity (an hour before Thanksgiving dinner, you can’t really be choosy with what’s already in the oven and the different temperatures at which they are required to cook). This actually caused the Unturkey to come out a bit rubbery, but when sliced thinly, leagues less noticeable. Avoid my mistake. Cook that puppy properly.
I told you it would be an intense journey, but it’s so worth it. Soooo worth it. You can use parts of this recipe if you’re looking to add crispy skin to your tried-and-true chicken recipe, make the gravy to top anything from meatloaf to meatballs to chicken, to veggies, to yourself. Roll around in it. Blast some Adele and just live inside of it. It’s just that butt-rockingly good.
All credit for this recipe goes to the Goddess herself, Miyoko Schinner.
half-priced hippie 